tonight will be the 2nd night in Puchong...
The room is yet to tidy up...
The door lock still just an empty hole...
The windows still without curtain..
My bed rack still lay on the floor separately...
My uncle just too busy to help me settle all these stuffs...
Just to be strong and to be tough...
I will try to figure them out one by one...
I know that I really don't like to stay here, I like the feel of peace, but here, I always can hear their shouting songs... Kids will come in to disturb time to time... I have to stay in fear and alert all the time...
Is totally different with just rent a room outside and stay with housemates... However, life goes on. God placed me here for certain purpose, so, just learn and train myself to be stronger... I will figure it out one day...
Be tough and be strong...
Monday, June 28, 2010
first night in Puchong
I moved to my uncle's house on 25 June 2010, and overnight there...
Once i stepped into "my room", really felt like want to cry...
The room was just full of stuffs, not only my stuffs, the children stuffs as well... cant even find a walking path... The room doesn't have lock as well... cant even close the door...
The old lady just ignore me at first and seems like i never appear in her house, she continued to watch her TV and i just being helpless there.
Ya, be strong and be tough... While I was trying to move out some space for the room, my two little cousins was moving around curiously, touch this touch that, ask this ask that... After few minutes, I was still thinking of how am I going to handle this kind of massy, then a song of shouting started to play... Kids and old lady were the singers... What can i do? Just enjoy the song...
Felt bad, like I am the unwelcome people... I thought everything will be ready for me when i step into the house. What I get just the massy and ignorance... Actually, indeed, I was thinking too much and too negative...
I am glad that I have an uncle stay nearby, providing me a free accommodation... help me to save a lot of $$$... Uncle helped me to build up my bed... Luckily, I still have an uncle...
The night is not young. I am tired as well... Just finish tidy up my things, haven't finish actually, just partly... Just finish packing for coming 12 days Student Training Program... feel so lonely and missing my dear dear hug... However, be tough, be strong... life goes on...
pray for a better tomorrow...
Once i stepped into "my room", really felt like want to cry...
The room was just full of stuffs, not only my stuffs, the children stuffs as well... cant even find a walking path... The room doesn't have lock as well... cant even close the door...
The old lady just ignore me at first and seems like i never appear in her house, she continued to watch her TV and i just being helpless there.
Ya, be strong and be tough... While I was trying to move out some space for the room, my two little cousins was moving around curiously, touch this touch that, ask this ask that... After few minutes, I was still thinking of how am I going to handle this kind of massy, then a song of shouting started to play... Kids and old lady were the singers... What can i do? Just enjoy the song...
Felt bad, like I am the unwelcome people... I thought everything will be ready for me when i step into the house. What I get just the massy and ignorance... Actually, indeed, I was thinking too much and too negative...
I am glad that I have an uncle stay nearby, providing me a free accommodation... help me to save a lot of $$$... Uncle helped me to build up my bed... Luckily, I still have an uncle...
The night is not young. I am tired as well... Just finish tidy up my things, haven't finish actually, just partly... Just finish packing for coming 12 days Student Training Program... feel so lonely and missing my dear dear hug... However, be tough, be strong... life goes on...
pray for a better tomorrow...
Friday, June 25, 2010
It is not easy
It is not easy, especially when you are trying to pursuit of something you desire for...
Now only i know that is not easy to have dream, is not easy to have target...
Sometimes, feel tiring of telling out the story
Sometimes, just need a hug for me to rest
I know however I just need to be strong and tough
Shove myself to stand on my own
Be tough, be brave, be courageous...
Now only i know that is not easy to have dream, is not easy to have target...
Sometimes, feel tiring of telling out the story
Sometimes, just need a hug for me to rest
I know however I just need to be strong and tough
Shove myself to stand on my own
Be tough, be brave, be courageous...
Friday, June 18, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Hesitating
I wish I am brave enough to tell you I want to live out my own life...
Saying this not mean that I am going to leave you or run away from you. I still love you and wish to accompany you.
I wish I could have some achievements that make you feel proud of me...
I do not want to always stay under your protections...
I really don't know how to tell you regarding my thought......
Saying this not mean that I am going to leave you or run away from you. I still love you and wish to accompany you.
I wish I could have some achievements that make you feel proud of me...
I do not want to always stay under your protections...
I really don't know how to tell you regarding my thought......
Friday, June 4, 2010
Realization
Just few days ago and had been like this for many years already actually (just to be honest), I was always looking for someone, who will really understand on me, understand what I feel, wiser than me, give me a very very excellent advises when i need them...
However, the truth is nobody in this world will really stand at your view point, consider seriously about your considerations, understand your feeling well... Is time to grow up, is time to stop dreaming, is time to lick my own wound silently and stand up again myself... never and never again think of seeking for someone's help, someone's hug...
I realize that, someone will just look at your achievements, will just look at your output. He or She will never think that you are still not putting enough effort, you are talented, you have a great great potential... all just never and just craps... no matter how great you had been in the past, they all just the past, what the people look at is NOW, neither the histories nor any excuse you gave...
So, is time to grow, is time to stand up, is time to walk, is time to run, is time to fly...
However, the truth is nobody in this world will really stand at your view point, consider seriously about your considerations, understand your feeling well... Is time to grow up, is time to stop dreaming, is time to lick my own wound silently and stand up again myself... never and never again think of seeking for someone's help, someone's hug...
I realize that, someone will just look at your achievements, will just look at your output. He or She will never think that you are still not putting enough effort, you are talented, you have a great great potential... all just never and just craps... no matter how great you had been in the past, they all just the past, what the people look at is NOW, neither the histories nor any excuse you gave...
So, is time to grow, is time to stand up, is time to walk, is time to run, is time to fly...
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
1st June 2010
今天
看到以往一起练习的舞者表演的照片
回想起好久都没站在舞台上了
这也是我的选择
回想起
在舞台上得到的满足感、优越感
是值得骄傲的
那时候的我
还蛮自信的
可能因为掌声
也可能因为他人的称赞
也可能自我的一种肯定
最近
问了朋友意见
觉得我是个怎样的人呢？
结果得到的是
满悲观的
不懂几时开始与悲观扯上了
自信心也跌落了
在谷里呼喊
得到的
却是自己的回音
才发现
一切的答案其实自己一直都懂
看到以往一起练习的舞者表演的照片
回想起好久都没站在舞台上了
这也是我的选择
回想起
在舞台上得到的满足感、优越感
是值得骄傲的
那时候的我
还蛮自信的
可能因为掌声
也可能因为他人的称赞
也可能自我的一种肯定
最近
问了朋友意见
觉得我是个怎样的人呢？
结果得到的是
满悲观的
不懂几时开始与悲观扯上了
自信心也跌落了
在谷里呼喊
得到的
却是自己的回音
才发现
一切的答案其实自己一直都懂
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