Wed night

Met with H just now. Didn't contact him for very long period of time already.
When chatting with him, I always feel very comfortable and think that he understands, he knows my concern, he is listening...

I told him my concern, I told him what am i hesitating on and we talked about future... actually I was the one who talked a lot, most of the time he just be the listener... However, he did share his thought about life to me...

For the future, for the career, for the choices, I am really still hesitating... But at least, I believe that if one day I made the choice that everyone disagree with, still got someone understand... I think that is enough for me...

I have to admit that I am weak. Without support of my family and friends, I will corrupt... I know that when I come out with this statement, one of my friends, name J, will laugh at me, and ask me without your family and your friends, will you still alive? will you still survive? I think my answer is will, I will still alive, I will still survive... But meaningless to be alive and meaningless to be survive... I know that J just tried to make me become stronger and tougher, however, in the same time, I feel that he actually is not understand me, he doesn't know me...

Actually I do hope that I know how to tell my family what am I thinking about, tell them my concern... But I just don't know... even with friends, I also don't know... I tried, once start the opening and from their responses, I know that I do not need to continue...
I am really glad that H still here, like last time, always listen to me, though we lost contact for so long...