没了任性的资格

最近生活拮据，突然意识到了自己已经失去了任性的权利，已经没有资本任性，也没有后退的路。
看着生活开销生活需求一天天的增加，而太多的东西没有进展，我急了，是否该放弃投降，还是应该继续撑一撑，再多坚持一点点。
倘若放弃，我知道我以后的人生就留下了后悔的痕迹，是怎么涂擦也磨灭不掉的痕迹，再走以后的路，我都无法自信的抬头，不想选择逃避，在还没有把脑子里的想法付诸行动之前都不应该选择逃避
倘若再撑一撑，在透支的情况下，能撑得了多久呢？

想起了圣经里所说的 Matthew 6:25-34
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

不要为明天担忧，因为明天自有明天的担忧

尽量，天父，我还学不会完全的依靠你，还学不会相信你会提供。。。


现在的我自己都养不饱的同时，我还想做一些很费时又不挣钱的东西，是任性，但想就想任性一段时间